My soul decided!

Its been awhile since I have on my blog. I wrote many a times, but none of those musings urged me enough to share it with the world.

I recently took a solo trip to Bali.

Bali had been on my mind since long. When I first pitched the bali-travel plan, sometime last year, I had participants for it. But they had to drop out and for sometime I had stopped thinking about it. The whole idea was taking this trip before or during my 30^th birthday. For me turning 30 was huge [I have absolutely no reason for believing so] Then I thought, I am going to turn 30 whether the trip happens or not. And It was a big deal for me so why not go alone?! I nurtured this thought and made up my mind, lets do a solo bali trip before turning 30![I hi-fived myself!]

As the journey date was nearing, my anxiety levels were soaring high! I like being alone, I have been to solo trips within india, but this was not going to be the same, to add to the nervousness were some of my friends saying things like, ‘you’ll get bored or you’ll sit there and cry’ [cliché-frenemies]

The list of crazy thoughts in my mind -

-          What if I get depressed there

-          Wont understand the currency[its crazy, they have notes of 1 lac and then they say things like, latte for 25 thousand, and I am all like giving me 2 mins here]

-         Will get bored

-         Wont be able to just leave everything and come back in two days

-         Will miss my coffee-partner and go insane[this was a crucial one]

-         Will hate being there

These are just to a name a few, [the other zillion irrational, insane thoughts ill pretend I dint have them]

Touchdown bali

The minute I landed in bali, I knew I had made the right decision. It was a 7 nights-8 days trip in a village called junjungan near ubud. It was every single day of telling myself that what an amazing call I took by deciding to come here by myself. The kundalini yoga sessions, spas and the cycling, walking around, the delicious meals and the lovely cafes, streets of ubud, the tropic rains and the perfect sunny days, meeting the master and being by the sea, it all made me want to stay there a bit longer.

 This post is not about Bali tourism. What I am trying to say here is don’t let your anxieties and fears stop you from experiencing the wonderful things life has to offer. And every once in awhile step out of your comfort zone. I would have made a blunder had I given in to my fears. You can avoid these blunders by letting your soul take over. My soul took me to this amazing experience. Where is your soul leading you

?

Because George Clooney is a man!

‘Its amazing how they managed to turn father's day too in women's favour...with so many advertisements about wishing happy father's day to single moms. No offence to this idea, it is very touching, but have we seen single fathers being wished Happy Mother's day ever?
Lets be fair, people!
I sometimes wonder under the cloak of women empowerment, are we doing the same that we have fought against for so long? Just something to think about...’

This was my immediate reaction to an advertisement I had seen about father’s day, and I immediately posted it as my fb status.

I don’t really put up strong opinions on social forums, actually I hardly put across strong opinions [I have them, and mostly I choose to keep it to myself unless its required to be spoken about]

People have often labelled me as a feminist, and being a feminist according to these people is ‘being a man-thrasher’ I myself initially never knew what exactly feminism was, I read several definitions about it, I heard a lot about it and after a long time, with much consideration and understanding I have figured that whenever something new/a change/ a revolution starts to take place, first comes the misconceptions [major and huge ones] aggressive behaviour [which stems out of these misconceptions] and slowly, steadily the understanding happens followed by the change.

The point I am trying to make her is that in this whole ‘feminism’ era, the true essence is being forgotten and its become more of a war/ competition. The idea is to be equals not to judge who is better. Yes, women have suffered a lot and many are still suffering and its great that today we as a society are trying to give women their rights. But lets give those wonderful fathers, supportive brothers, amazing and understanding life-partners and those fun guy friends their due! These people have encouraged their women to move ahead in life!

Let father’s day be just about the fathers!

P.S – I wrote this post in favour of the men, because George Clooney is a man!! [C’mon people!! ;-)]

A conversation

It was one of those afternoons, where I decided to drop off all the plans that I had [not that I had many, but usually I never have many plans!] The first summer rains had decided to finally pour! Also a parcel had arrived for me, it was my birthday gift from a very close friend, Penaaz. And like always I decided to tear open the parcel [and like always I couldn’t and had to use a cutter!] It was a purple nail polish, the first thought that came to mind then was that, that morning I was searching for something purple to use or wear, I couldn’t find anything [even I was amazed, since I love purple]. I really was ecstatic and at that moment I knew, that the universe has given me the sign that I was asking for.[Yes, we get these signs in smallest possible ways, we should just know to recognize them and believe in them, at least I do] Sometimes we need our loved ones to give us an assurance, I needed that from the divine and I received it!
I immediately starting applying the nail polish and while I was doing so, I had this conversation with myself…Actually wait, let me first tell you what has been happening, then the conversation and this whole post will make sense.

So well, since a couple of weeks, I could watch myself being hassled, not being able to concentrate on ‘now’, over-thinking and just not being able to find that happy place within me.

So yeah, back to applying the nail polish, I started talking to me [very lovingly] and this is how the words were strung

‘Kya hua hai? What has happened to you? You realize that the way you are being these days will not help you at all.’ YES

‘What are you worried about..huh? don’t you trust the universe?’ I DO

‘You have come so far in your life, you have dealt with all kinds of hurdles, don’t you trust yourself to make things happen’ I DO

‘Then just live the present, work for the future [I know you are doing that consistently], and let me remind you of your own mantra ‘trust the process of life’ ‘

Those few minutes brought me back to the centre. We keep wandering around, and it is fine as long as we can centre ourselves.

Confessions of a ‘work in progress’ person – 

We tend to think, that now that we are becoming aware and are understanding the way the nature works, so now we will not fall in the trap of sadness or unpleasant situations. That is not true

Further down the path, you realize that the path of self-realization/discovery [any fancy words?!] doesn’t make you immune from the human emotions and situations.

You just learn to recognize the source of the situations and deal with it wisely.

Also eventually you realize that your ideas, beliefs do not serve you anymore, so you need to drop them. It may take some time, but the realization itself changes your life for better.

You learn to not get crazily affected by the harshness of the situation and become aware enough to understand the lesson and break the destructive patterns.

More than anything else, I am writing this post to remind myself that I am taken care off, I am blessed and so are all of you.

[I had written this post almost 10 days ago, just forgot to put it up.]

Musings...

The distance somehow ensures of a future;

You are away only to comeback forever.

The bitter sweetness of these days will be engraved deep into my being,

Knowing the trust in my heart is unshakeable, and so is the love for you!

........

And some day I will become one with the ocean..

and then you'll see the horizon of my love...
That day; my love, you will know the depth, the vastness, the quiet, the madness.
And then when you will call out to me,

the ocean will rush to your feet, embrace me then or drown in me.

........